No Regret Friday

Jacques (Paramedic)

Take a look in the mirror

Lisa knew the killer even before she climbed onto the highway that night. She anxiously looked into her mirror several times as the car behind her veered unpredictably across lanes, accelerating then slowing for no particular reason. “Drunken fool”, she muttered to her 5 year old daughter “Serena” on the back seat. “People are so irresponsible!” She looked up again…”thank God” – the driver took the exit behind her. Her eyes focused on the road again, but it was already too late. She smashed into the back of the truck that had been lurking in the darkness, almost invisible on that dark fateful night. Lisa knew the killer…it was her!

When I found Lisa, she was dazed and wobbled along the side of the road in no particular direction, she looked ok besides a minor cut to her lip, a sigh of relief. Luckily she was wearing her seat belt. My torch light caught the bundle of cloth on the middle line, almost by chance. My heart now beating again, faster…My torch light now focused on this object – the expression of horror still on her face, as she impacted the road. Bits of tar stuck in her face, pale and a dark pool of black blood around the back of what was left of head. I can never forget this.

Lisa was going through the first stage of grief – denial – she was oblivious to what had happened and what SHE had done…it didn’t seem to concern her. She didn’t cry or ask about her child, just walked around in no particular direction. Later Lisa will go through the remaining 4 stages – bargaining – maybe an appeal for someone to help, try to make a deal for things to be right. Depression as she now starts to come to terms of this harsh reality. Finally the hardest stage – acceptance, when she finally realizes it was HER – with no seat belt Lisa’s daughter didn’t stand a chance as she was flung out the car like a rag doll…

Today I sit in my car at the robot on this sunny day. A land rover pulls up along side me and a toddler squashes his little face against the window, staring out at me, delicately balancing on the front seat – taking in the world in all its colours. Just being innocent. Mom buckled up in the front of course like a good citizen. I recall that night and that face again and part of me wants to get out my car and beat mommy with her own ignorance. I suppose ignorance is bliss. I suppose they may never know…but then again they might just find out one fateful night.

www.priorityone.co.za